Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

Ahhh....Christmas! It is a wonderful time, ain't it?

Today was my last day of school, so I JUST got out for Christmas break!! I am so excited!

My friend, Elise, and I promised to exercise over Christmas every day, and we came up with a short exercise plan. Jillian Michael's would be proud. :)

I love Christmas for so many, many reasons. I love it because I can give, give, give to all of my friends that I love so very much. I love it because everyone is happy and not one person is left out or sad.

I love at that part at the end of the day, when all of the friends are departing. Everyone is hugging and saying, "I love you, Merry Christmas!", over and over again. We all just get that bubbly-warm feeling inside, when you are surrounded by love.

Everyone circles around each other, promises to email every day, and says, laughing, "I don't think I can live without you for 10 days!" Then everyone is off, off to their own Christmas celebrations, off to their own, separate lives for a while.

As we all shuffle onto the buses, loaded with gifts and candy, smiles on our faces, we call out, "See you next year!"

I sometimes just think how amazing it is. Amazing that all of these different people, different in so many ways, came together as friends. All of us, coming from different homes, various lives, unique personalities, all came together, and learned to love each other.

Christmas time reminds me that our Lord God brought us all together. He brought us together for many reasons. To teach each other, to learn from each other, to help each other, and to listen to each other.

Christmas time reminds me that Jesus came to our home that He created, became human, and knowing that He would have to die, did it FOR US.

As I look at each one of my beautiful, amazing friends, I think of Jesus, because He is the only reason that I am so priveliged to have them as my friends today!

So, as all the Christmas chaos continues, and presents are wrapped, gifts are given, and music plays, don't forget about Jesus. Jesus, the baby born in a manger, for me, for you, for all of us.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

Wondering....

Do you ever wonder about your life? Whoever you are that's reading this?

Do you ever wonder what you'll be doing this time of year next year? Like for example, will I have made a new friend? Will I have dis-connected with a friend that right now I never thought I would?

Will I be different next year? Will I still be the same pickle-loving, writing, reading, crazy, fun, soccer girl I am right now?

Will I make a significant difference in some one's life between now and next year? Will I still be a straight-A student? Why do we always need answers? Why must we ask so many questions?

This makes me wonder, do we really trust God? If we can't even let go of the worries of tomorrow, yet question the future, what are we really doing? Are we trusting in Him? Or are we just falling through the void of our life, with nothing to hold onto?

I'm so sick of questions. I'm so sick of wanting answers. Maybe we don't need answers. Did God EVER tell us we needed answers? Why, no, I don't believe He did.

And yet I still wonder, I still dream. I wonder who I'll marry, but I guess all girls do. I wonder whether I live to graduate from college, or to be a wife and a mother.

And I wonder about death. Such a strong word, death is. I hate saying it, let alone writing it or reading it. I wonder how I'll die. And then, as I wonder, I get this mixed, sick feeling, yet uplifting feeling, that I could die any day.

And it strikes me so powerfully that God could call me home at any time, I could get sick and die, I could get in a car crash and die on my way to school, or I could get run over by a car as I am walking across the rode.

This all came to me in a dream, of course. I dreamt that I was at school in my classroom. All of my friends were there, my teacher sitting on her stool, and everything was okay. All of the sudden the announcements came on and everyone had exactly 4 minutes to live.

The announcer said that a volcano(I know there are no volcanoes near us, but it was a dream, and it was very real)was going to erupt in 4 minutes and it was too late to evacuate.

Everyone started freaking out. I felt my legs go limp, and I didn't know what to do. This was the moment that I had pondered over for years and years, and I had 4 minutes left on this earth. The weirdest feeling came across me, then we heard the volcano erupting, and I woke up before it killed us.

I don't want to be afraid of death, you see. Because it is only a transition from earth to our eternal home in heaven. But I guess it's not death that I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that when it comes, then I will be afraid.

So no matter how much I question and how many answers don't come, I will always wonder.

Home

A sweet brick house and creamy yellow trim,
an arched wooden door,
a homey space within.
A place where no one judges,
no one tears you down,
there is only love, no stubborn, cold-hearted grudges.
No accusing stares,
no malicious whispers,
no deceptive glares.
Where each is a part of something,
everyone is equally loved,
and no one is nothing.
And even though may quarrel,
end up loving more,
and even though may argue,
are not thrown out the door.
And home is everything you know,
no matter how big or how small,
and no matter where you go.

For Daddy:)

I know this is my blog and all, and is supposed to be full of my writing, but I want to take a step back and talk about the man who inspires me every time I write, and is a beautiful writer himself.

Yep! He's my Dad! My Dad is the inspiration behind all of my poems, stories, and this blog. (Of course, Jesus inspires me the most, since He gave me the gift of writing, but my Dad is also very important in the process as well.)

My Dad is a very talented writer, he has written many, many poems over the years, and when it comes to writing, we are so much alike. Sometimes, especially on long car rides when it's just me and him, we like to make up nonsense poems. It's pretty amazing how we practically finish each other's sentences. And as he says, "After all, we are related!" :)

One of my Dad's students(my Dad is an English Prof. in our small Christian college in town)made him a packet organized as a book full of his poems one year. I read it all of the time.

I give Jesus all of the credit for making me the writer I am now, and I thank my Dad for inspiring me. SO THANK YOU, DADDY, IF YOU ARE READING THIS!!!

One day I hope to become a writer, well, I take that back, I already AM a writer, what I am trying to say is that one day I hope to become a published writer. Maybe one day I will. But for now, I continue to watch and learn the beauty and art of writing by watching my Dad.

Enough of that, here is my favorite poem written by my Dad, and then one written by me. Hope you enjoy!

Job
At bedtime every night he sings
"Amazing Grace" to his only daughter,
he says a prayer with his second son,
and bends to kiss his close-cropped head
cocooned beneath his comforter.
To his teenage son who's reading on the bed
he gives a manly hug,
then joins his wife in the living room.
The bills are paid, the dishes done,
he grabs a beer and turns the TV on.
Tomorrow he will hit the gym,
this weekend get some yard work done
and church and teaching Sunday school.
As usual on his favorite show,
they catch the bad guy in the end.
He ends up dozing through the news
but catching part of Letterman

In bed he thinks of everything
that he's been spared. He's not afraid
he'll wake up to bombs, or searchlight glare,
or soldiers kicking down his door.
Disasters strike him as quite unlikely
living so far from a fault line,
coast, or tornado alley. His town
has little theft, less rape, no murder.
He offers thanks, a top ten list
of ways that he's been over blessed,
though soon he'll be drifting off to sleep.
A fleeting thought disturbs his pleasant mood,
he hopes that God's got nothing left to prove.


And by me: Modern Martyr: Dedicated to Cassie, victim of the shooting at Columbine High school

A gun pointed to your face, yet you lost no trace of
faith.
A question hanging by a thread, yet you felt no surge
of dread.
A trigger pulling back, you felt no need to attack,
A bullet flying through the air,
but your heart was already there.
A light shone in the darkness, you are not alone.
A siren screaming, a shout of orders,
an empty body,
a lifeless martyr.
A hallelujah, a guilty boy,
a panicked officer, a scene without joy.
You held onto the promise of life, you fought Goliath,
you won the fight.

Oh my, my, my

I saw a cloud floating across the sky, and thought to myself, 'Oh, my, my, my', there ain't a day that goes by when I don't wonder why.....

I saw a bird flying past, its wings going so fast I could hardly see them. And I though to myself, 'Oh my, my, my', oh how I wonder why.....

I watched tiny baby close its eyes to sleep, as its mother rocked it gently back and forth. And I thought in my head, 'Oh my, my, my', I wonder why....

I walked along the ocean, the sand squishing between my toes, while the waves crashed over and over again. And as I strolled along the sea, I thought, 'Oh my, my, my', I am always wondering why.....

Why must we know all the answers? Can't we except the truth? Must we possess all knowledge? Why do we fret the future, yet can't let go of the past?

Oh my, my, my....I wonder why. I wonder why He's made, such a beautiful place, given by His grace, lit by the light of his face.

Oh my, my, my....I wonder why.

Quirky Qualities

Like mist everyone else, I have verrryyyy many quirks, and without them, I just wouldn't be who I am, you know?

One of my biggest quirks is my obsession with pickles. Everyone knows I loveee pickles! I love to eat them, in fact, I have these little "pickle packs" that my dad puts in my lunch. My email is: randomnesandpickles@gmail.com, I have a sign in my room that has a picture of pickles and says, "PICKLES ROCK!!!!"

I know, I know, very, very odd. I can't help it, though:). Here comes my big confession.....drum roll, please....uhhh...it's coming.....okay, okay, I talk to EVERYTHING, living or nonliving. There. I said it.

I talk to my computer when it's slow, I talk to my closet, asking it "What should I wear?", I talk to my bed, saying, "Ahhh...you're so comfy!", I talk to my stuffed animals(George the koala,and Caramel and Toffy the beagles)!

I talk to everything, and even if I don't TALK to it, I sing, making up my own song. :)

There's one more BIG quirk, and I am not ashamed, even though I am too old for it, to tell you. I have a blankie that I sleep with every night. And, yes, it is a blankie, not a rag, like some people call it! It is ripped in every which way, it has millions upon millions of holes, and it used to be a pretty pink, but is now a faded, light pink.

I keep telling myself I'll get rid of it, but I am literally attached to it! Blankie has been my best friend since birth, and has seriously(don't laugh)been with me through everything, he(and yes, Blankie is a he)is just to precious to leave me just yet:).

Oh my goodness! I must be insane! I'm letting out all of my weirdest quirks on the Internet where anyone can see! Oh, well, there's a reason for that. The reason I'm comfortable with anyone knowing these things is because I know that ALL of us are weird, and, I mean, at the end of my life is it really gonna matter that I talked to everything and owned a blankie when I was 12?

No, I can assure you, it won't! Because Jesus loves us each for who we REALLY are, and my quirks don't define me, they just add a little sugar and spice to my personality!

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR QUIRKS? DO YOU STILL SLEEP WITH A TEDDY BEAR? DO YOU TALK TO ALL OF YOUR THINGS BOTH LIVING AND NONLIVING? WHAT MAKES YOU YOU?

These are a few of My Favorite Things

I love so many, many things. Here are a few....

I love waking up to two perfect inches of snow spread across the yard, glimmering and untouched. But I also love waking up on a summer morning, listening to the birds chirp away, the sun just coming up past the trees.

I love walking around the block in the early morning, when no one else is up, and it's as quiet as could be. But I love the exhilaration of a walk in the dark, every where I look, it's peaceful and still.

I love the pleasant noise of the waves crashing on the beach, the seagulls happily singing over head, and the delighted squeals of the little children playing in the sand. And I love the silence of my classroom taking a difficult test, tense with concentration and determination.

I love that bubbling-up feeling I get inside when I am surrounded by people who love me, or when someone says something special to me. I love that utter peaceful feeling at night right before I drift into my dreams.

I love the tickle of my little cousins' whispers in my ear, as they tell me an "important secret". And I love the blast of rhythmn flowing through my body at a concert with a loud band.

I love the twinkle of stars at night, shining brightly so. And I love the mystery of the luminous moon, so far and yet, so close.

I love the feeling of good, hard laugh, where everyone arround me is red with glee, and I am smiling so hard it hurts my cheeks. And I love the feeling of letting out all of my tears, when I'm in distress, then being comforted.

I love taking a long, hot shower after a stressful day, then relaxing in my room or reading a book on the couch. I love the feeling of accomplishment, when I've finished everything I needed to get done, contentment stretching from my head to my toes.

And I love the sound of a baby's sneeze, as the little face scrunches up and quakes. I love the tenderness of a baby's yawn, right before he falls asleep, the tiny mouth opens crookedly and lets out the tiniest sigh.

I love......

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Some days I hate the mirror. Some days I love the mirror. But no matter what, it is the best manipulator I've ever met.

The mirror is what you look into to see yourself right after you wake up, with your hair all exploded and messed up (at least mine is), and imprints of the covers smothered all over your face from sleeping like a rock.

The mirror is what you look at when you had a bad day, and, as if it could magically fix all your problems, you stare at it, burning into that annoying person's eyes that seem to always appear when you're trying to look at yourself.

The mirror is where you try to get that fly-away hair in place before the big concert. And you probably look quite odd standing there flinging your hair around, licking your fingers, tossing your head back and forth, and who knows what.

Ohhhh......the mirror is where you bring out the panel of judges from inside you and crack down hard on your imperfections, then, feeling guilty, you're suddenly friends with that human in the mirror.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, we are just human, after all, so GIVE US A BREAK!

Friends

"Friends are the chocolate chips on the cookie of life."
I totally agree with this quote. My friends are vitally important to me. It's sort of funny when I think back to the first time I met some of my closest friends, laughing at the fact of how awkward we were together at first, before we got to know each other better (or too much!).

It's also kind of ridiculous how many "inside jokes" you come up with with your friends. I could list some, but what's the point? You wouldn't get them! I guess inside jokes live up to their name!

You know what else? It's kinda weird to think how relaxed you can get around your friends. Like yesterday, for example, we were in art class, and my friend, Nicole, was leaning her head against my shoulder, and I was leaning mine on top of hers, while our teacher was explaining what we were doing.

You know what else???!!!! No matter how much friends, real friends, irk each other, they never fight! How cool! I love my friends!!

It's so much fun to be around friends, because you know they love you, not because of what you look like, yet they think you're beautiful, but because of who you really are.

Friendship is a difficult concept, if you really think about it. It's hard to be a friend. Yet, we all seem to get the hang of it pretty quickly from birth. I don't know what I would do without my friends.

My friends are sort of like a second family, but they're all separate. I need each of them for different reasons. Some I need to be able to depend on. Others I need to depend on me. Some I need to keep me straight, and others loosen me up.

I also like my friends for different reasons. Some of them I like because they're happy and energetic, and some are calm and fun to talk to, and yes, some are just original-style, old fashioned friends! (I was just kidding on that last one!)

What are some memorable moments with your friends? What do you like best about them?

All Bad Choices all Around

:( I don't know what to say.

There is nothing to say:(.

I got an email this morning from one of my dear, close friends, it was called, "i need help through this."

Hmmmmmm.....I read it. I am not at liberty to say what it was about. But my heart ached for her. I replied the best I could, telling her God is in control.

I received the news the other day that my fourth-grade teacher's mother passed away. I sent another email. What was I supposed to say? I've never gone through anything like that.

Last year my parents informed my brothers and I that our wonderful friends who live in the South were getting a divorce. I balled my eyes out. What am I supposed to say to those people whom I've seen together since I was born, and now are torn apart?

I heard my mom on the phone this morning talking to her mother. She says to her mother, as clear as a bell to my ears, "They're just making all bad choices all around."

What is wrong with the world? Everything you're used to can change in a day. Everyone you've loved can turn their backs to you, yet you're still loving them.

This makes me sick in an inexpressible way. How can these families just fall right apart? How can death overtake life?

My only single answer and hope is that I have my Lord Jesus here in my heart, and I'm never letting go. Though I am surrounded my evil, I pray that I would hold on to light, and though I know trials will test me, I know Jesus, my rock will defeat those who try to tempt me.

All bad choices all around, well this is my choice:
Psalm 62:5-6
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Death Before Life.....and other highly opinionated topics

I know I've already told you a lot about myself already, but there is still more, believe it or not. I am a very opinionated person. My opinions range from my strong believing that you shouldn't own a cellphone until you are at least able to drive, to my faith in Jesus Christ.

One of my most opinion-y of opinions is the whole thing with abortion. I may not know as much about it as some people, but I strongly believe, as Dr. Seuss said, "A person's a person, no matter how small." And that just about sums it up.

What I don't get about abortion is that every life God has given is a gift, so why kill it? In my eyes, abortion is murder. And why am I even saying "it", those babies are PEOPLE!!!!!!

What comes to my mind when I think of abortion is cutting off a life before it even got to begin. Who knows? That baby could have been the next Albert Einstein, that baby could have found the cure to cancer, maybe that baby could have lived a wonderful life, serving his or her Lord.

Overpopulation the problem? Didn't God command Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply"?

You see? I am one opinionated young gal!

I guess I wouldn't say my faith is an "opinion" because it is a fact. Jesus Christ died to save us from our sins, and He reigns on high, He will judge us all, and He loves each and every one of us. Hmmmm...yep, that's seems like it's all fact to me.

I always will believe that. And as one of my favorite hymns states, "No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand, 'till He returns, or calls me home, here in the power of Christ, I'll stand."

My ultimate life-verse is Isaiah 40:31, "Those who hope in the Lord will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weak, walk and not grow faint."

From unborn children to my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, I'm an all-around, opinion-filled, faith-solid young girl.

Tears

Tonight I prayed.
I prayed for my friends.
I prayed for their salvation.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, as I thought of them
without a savior.
Lost in the light of my Father, I prayed with hope,
and thought of all His daughters.
Tonight I prayed.
I prayed for my friends.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, as I thought of them.
Quiet pleas to God, for salvation through His son,
I wish I could find something to say to that would make this undone.
Tonight I prayed for all of those broken and alone.
For my friends to find their way home.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, as I thought of them.

Belle

Today I babysat my sweet little neighbor, she is the cutest thing! She's polite, VERY SMART, and genuinely happy.

I asked her, as we were coloring, who her favorite princess was, she knew right away, and she said, "Mulan". I asked her why she liked Mulan, and, as if she had prepared a speech, she proudly said, "Because she is strong and brave." she announced, "I think that's where I get all my energy and strength, too, from Mulan."

I was so shocked, it took me a minute or so to believe that that had come out of the mouth of a first-grader. This made me wonder who my favorite princess was. After I ruled out Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, and Snow White, I had Cinderella and Belle left.

I sat there wondering which was my favorite. I finally said, not that my little first-grader was still listening, "I think my favorite is Belle." After I said it, I started to come up with reasons why I liked Belle so much.

After considering all of the things Belle did in the story I decided that I am most like Belle than any other Disney princess. One of the main reasons I chose Belle as my favorite was because she was so accepting of the Beast, sure she was afraid, but she saw past his ugly looks, and into the pain that he held.

Belle is also very brave and stubborn, which slightly reflects my character as well. This is a dumb reason, but I've always thought Belle's dress was the prettiest of all the princess'....hehe:).

It's funny how even a first-grader knows exactly what she likes, and is not afraid to say it!

What princess is your favorite? Which one resembles you the most?

....Time Is Tickin Away

Once I went on a walk with an old friend of mine, we hadn't spoken in years. We were just walking a long and catching up for all of our lost moments together. After awhile, she turned to me and said something like this:

"Anna, I have never met a girl that is so strong in her faith, you're a really great friend."

At that moment tears welled up in my eyes, I had heard it before from my parents and family, but never from a friend that barely even knew me. And here comes the part that I wish I could change; my lame-face response. I looked down at the ground and said in a shaky voice,
"Aw, shucks."

And I knew I blew it. It was a beautiful moment, and all I had to say was, 'aw, shucks'. Instantly I was angry with myself. What was I supposed to say now? "You are too"?

I knew that would sound too ordinary, so I just kept smiling and walking. This brought attention to me that we don't have very much time here on our temporary home! We can't just sit around regretting the fact that, "oops, I messed up again." We need to TAKE ACTION! We are His messengers!