Monday, November 30, 2009


Floating above the bubble, so called my life.
Reaching for what I cannot touch.
Dreamily gliding across the emptiness of my abyss.
Straining toward it, then falling, falling...
Falling down into the mysterious nothingness, and landing on the surface of vacancy.
Crying into the lonely, drifting place, waiting for the darkness to embrace.
Feeling everything and nothing.
Wishing anything were something.
Aching and lying, I feel like dying, but is there such a thing?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Being a Women

When I was a little girl, like maybe 5 or 6 years old, I made a list of three things I never wanted to have to do when I was a women. (Keep in mind that this is before I "knew anything"). Here's my silly list:

1. I never want to wax my lip.

It seemed so scary and painful then, but now I look at it like ripping a band aid off.

2. I want to have kids, but I don't want to feel any pain.

Oh, gee! Having kids and no pain....hmmm, right! :)

3. I never want to have to share a bed with anyone!!!

I have nothing to say about this.....:).

As you can see, like most little, naive kids, I expected that I would always feel the same way about all of this. As I got more and more exposed to the world and saw how things were, my list changed from all of the "I never want to"s to the "I'm gonna have to"s.

I feel like we're like this in many areas of our lives, always telling ourselves what we never want to do. I think sometimes we need to take a step out of our comfort zone and surprise ourselves!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Thankful Thanksgiving

I am always worried that one day, years from now, or maybe even sooner, Thanksgiving will vanish and Christmas will take over, Black Friday being the only thing people are interested in.

I sure hope this doesn't happen, but I fear, as people put up their Christmas lights the week of Thanksgiving, and the Outlet Malls are playing holiday music, and having "Christmas sales", that our Thanksgiving will be pushed out of the spotlight while Christmas seeks all of the attention.

But not this Thanksgiving, this Thanksgiving I will remain loyal to this fourth Thursday of November. Often we find our selves wanting what we don't have. For instance; a brunette finds herself wishing she were blond, and dyes her hair, yet a blond finds herself wishing she were a brunette, and dyes her hair.

If someone has curly hair, they dream of straight hair, and spend a fortune to get it "chemically straightened", but still, if someone has straight hair, they dream of curly hair, and spend a fortune to get a perm.

Those who have glasses, hate them, so they get contacts. But those who have perfectly healthy eyes are in luck, because, guess what, they make no-prescription fake glasses! You see? We can't be grateful for what beautiful people God made us, so we want, want, want, and get, get, get.

I want to have a Thankful Thanksgiving, so here are a few things that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my body, that can move and work, that I am not disabled. I am thankful for my brain that is fully functional and intelligent. I am thankful for my room, in which I can relax and think and wind down after a bad day. I am thankful for my school, with my amazing teachers, that are committed to help me learn, and their amazing efforts to teach.

I am thankful for my friends. Good and bad, that have taught me lessons that I couldn't have learned myself. For their love and generosity, for their loyalty and honesty. For their always being there when I need to just talk, and for acknowledging silently my troubles.

I am thankful for my church, where everyone feels like family, and where I have grown to learn the word of God. I am thankful for my "second family", the Wishings, whom I am neither timid or shy around, and whom I would always go to for anything if my family wasn't there.

I am thankful for my stable home, for my parents' hard work to raise me, and my brothers in Christ. And for my family, that without I don't know what I would do, and that even when we quarrel and fight, I know will always love me.

I am thankful for all the small pleasures, chocolate, new shoes, waking up on a summer's day to the bright sunshine, sitting on the beach, losing myself in the sound of the waves crashing, holding a new born baby while it sleeps peacefully, starting a new journal, being so tired I fall asleep right as my head hits the pillow, and running down the soccer field, free and untamed.

Last, and most importantly, I am thankful for Jesus Christ, author of my life, savior, who by His grace, brought me salvation. And who, wretched though I am, loves me no matter what I do or say, or how far I fall from Him. For Jesus because without Him I'd be nothing, and who with Him I am free. And for Jesus because He'll never forsake me, even when everyone else does.

This is my Thankful Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Ahhh....good ole tradition...we have many in my house, here are a few.

~PSALMS-Every morning, after most everyone is finished with breakfast, my dad reads a Psalm.

~BIB STO AKA: BIBLE STORY-When we have time, in the evenings my dad will read a part of whatever book in the bible we are reading, then we pray and sing a hymn.

~CRANBERRIES-On Thanksgiving, before we eat, everyone passes the pot around the table and places their cranberry in and says something they are thankful for.

~MOVIE TIME-At some point in the "Christmas Season" we all watch the well-known, well-loved, A Christmas Story.

~ADVENT-During the season of Advent, we all take turns reading the passages in the bible.

~WELCOMING CHRISTMAS-After Thanksgiving dinner, while we're doing the dishes, we play Christmas music for the first time that year.

~SHOPPING SPREE-Before school starts, and before summer begins, my mom and I go on an all-day shopping trip:).

~MR. PEW-In the summer, my dad and I go on many bike rides. Sometimes we bike through the college. On campus, there is a copper statue of Mr. Pew, the man who a building was named after. Whenever we bike passed, we always go say hi to him:).


Dinner Conversations

Sam: (out of nowhere) "Space will desinigrate before time."

Mom: (looking at Sam) "Have you heard back from MIT yet?"

Sam: "No. Space will desinigrate before time." (he says a lot of other things, but I really don't know what they mean and can't remember what they are, sorry.)

Mom: "I guess that sort of makes sense, actually, if you just say that."

Me: (looking at mom with shock) "How does it make sense at all? I don't get anything he's saying!"

Will: "You know, maybe we should actually listen to what he says, that way when we actually learn about it, we'll get it."
(dad agrees)

Me: "Oops, I never listen."

Mom: (giving me the evil eye) "Anna, you should."

Me: "But I don't know half the words he's even using!"
(we move on to another subject.)
5 minutes later.....

Sam: "As I was saying, space will desinigrate before time."
(we all start laughing.)

Dad: (says something....)

I have a feeling our dinner conversations aren't normal.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Welcome to My World

....Ahhhh, that must be something in my dream, wait, no, nevermind, that's the alarm. Sam must have set it too early...WHAT??!! It's already time to get up??! Noooo! Oh, please, no! Really? Are you for real? Ugh!

As I reluctantly drag myself out of bed, reaching toward the lamp, I squint my eyes against the bright, sudden light. I uncover the blue light of my stereo and head to the closet. Oh, gee. The Closet. And the big "what to wear?" question hangs over my head.

Quickly deciding I didn't want to wear bright-blue pants on a Monday, and pulling on my most-favoritist pair of jeans and most-comfiest shirt, I turn around to make my bed, making a mental note never to become like my brothers and stay in bed 10 minutes extra after the alarm goes off. After making my bed, I discover two little lumps covered by my sheets and comforter at the end of the bed. Hmmm...I pull up the sheets, scouring the bed for my missing culprates. Aha! Gotcha!

I pull out the two fuzzy little socks, proud to have accomplished one thing today. Ohhhh! I say out loud, poor Ceddy (aka Cedric), I forgot to feed you! (Just to clue you in, Cedric is my goldfish, and is somewhat neglected at times:P) I descend the stairs slowly and with care, while feeling guilty about always forgetting Ceddy.

In the mornings, it seems, I don't usually feel like talking. Some mornings are different, and I can't shut up, but most mornings I silently greet everyone and eat breakfast. Let's skip the whole brush-teeth-do-hair-gather-homework-remember-lunch-routine.

By the time we get to my school, I'm in a brighter mood, and happy to see my friends. Oh, wait, I skipped bus hall, by my definition-torturous time period in which students must sit in agony while bus hall monitors yell at everyone to sit down until we are released to our classrooms.

Anyway, moving on, in library I pick the most random books off of the shelf, because I never read my library books...wahaha! And I take a seat in the "story pit" where Claire and Nicole are drooling over picture books with polar bears and baby seals.
"How many times have you checked that book out?" I ask Nicole.

"I lost my count," she replies in a distant tone while staring at the cute, fuzzy little polar bear, that could probably eat her alive.

In English, I listen while everyone moans at pulling their English textbooks out, and I silently give three "Hip, hip, hooray!"s. In Reading, hardly being able to stand listening to my classmate struggle on the pronounciation of every other word. In Math, restraining myself from glancing at the clock every three seconds. And lunch, Huzzah!

95% of the time, lunch is fun and relaxing, maybe even thrilling sometimes. But when they break out the drama....urrrgg. If anyone knows me at all, they'd definetly know that drama is my LEAST FAVORITE THING ON THE ENTIRE EARTH!! For me, I'd rather sit through an hour of nails screeching down a chalk board, than sit through 5 minutes of drama.

I'd rather eat plain oatmeal for a month than be involved in one tiny bit of drama. And for me, drama is like an OCD person in a slob's house, a person with claustrophobia in a giant crowd! I can't stand it! O.K., now that that's out of the way....

When it comes to the expression: lunch + drama, the sum is anything but pretty. And when that happens, I find myself in the women's bathroom down the hall, locking myself in the stall, praying I would make it. When finally I know I should get back to lunch or else my peers would think I fell in the toilet, I sit down at my lunch table, plug my ears, close my eyes, and wish I were somewhere else.

Skipping over the boringness and Science and Social Studies, flute lessons, and tutoring my stubborn students....home at last! Kinda reminds me of "Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!" Piano. Hangin out. Running. Bible Study. Dinnner....

Dinner is a very interesting process at my house. First, we all get our food, right? I mean, who doesn't eat food at dinner? Note that my brothers eat a....hmmm...I'll be nice, large amount of whatever my mom cooks. Conversations could vary at my house from my mom and dad talking about the car having to go in tomorrow, or some mathematical-scientifical discussion in which I have no idea what anybody's talking about. (That's what happens when you have a family full of geniuses.)

The rest of the day is not much to talk about...unless you want to be bored to death. I'm sure there are many things I've left out like the fact that I talk to my computer when it's slow and my brother incessantly telling me, "don't worry about it." But this is my world, welcome!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Losing All Inspiration

Some days I seem to just lose all of my inspiration to do anything. I know it's okay to do that every once in a while on a lazy Saturday, but, if we continue to live our lives like that, and make up are we fulfilling God's plan for our lives?
When you've lost all inspiration....
My Steps to Recovery:
1.) I GET UP!

2.) I go up to my room and prepare myself to worship God by playing some of my favorite worship songs on my stereo while I either sit with my eyes closed and listen, sing along, or dance...:)

3.) After I am finished listening, I lie on my bed with my bible and study book that I am using, and I get to work.

4.) When I am finished, I clean up my room, making me feel less clustered and more accomplished.

5.) Sometimes after step 3 or 4 I like to go for a long walk and just contemplate.

6.) I remind myself that losing inspiration doesn't mean I am bad person, just that I am human.

7.) I get inspired.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

My precious beagle, Snickers...:) and the perty sunset...!

More About Me

Well, I guess I should tell you all a little more about myself. Where to start? I was born! Believe it or not! I was born in Georgia, where we lived for a couple years, until we moved up here, "the great white north" of Pennsylvania. I absolutely love my small town in which I've grown up and although I want to go away one day, will miss it terribly. I play soccer, probably the least-popular sport in America, but I sure do love it! I play defense..and I think I love it so much because...well, actually I hate offense because I feel almost, but on defense I feel like I have one sole purpose, and that makes me feel secure. I love music, and I would say that I am a very musical person. I am not the best singer, but I LOVE to sing! I usually go to the nursing home with some friends from my church to sing every once and a while. I also play piano, I think this is my fourth or fifth year playing, and I started to play flute last year and am enjoying it immensely! I think I am a very interesting person, I am not one to seek attention, but I don't mind speaking in public (let me know if you get confused), but I hate entering writing contests because I don't like my writing to be "publicized" yet I won a writing contest a couple weeks ago, and now I am doing a blog. Weird, eh? I also have two older brothers and no younger siblings. I love my brothers for many reasons, one being that they are great role models! Also, I think they have made me a stronger person. Instead of playing house or barbie dolls, we would play FBI, instead of a "pillow fight" we would have a "pillow war". I truly believe that God gives us exactly what we need and exactly what we can handle, and I think He knew that what I needed and could handle(hehe) were two wonderful brothers. When I look back on all of the times I had wished that I had a little sister, I see now that I am perfectly fine with my two brothers.
My parents are both great role models also, and I can see by everything that they do how much they love the Lord and how much they want to serve Him.
I also have a beagle, named Snickers, the sweetest dog on Earth...:). And a goldfish named Cedric!
Of course, like everyone else, I have many goals and dreams for my life. I hope to go to Grove City College, and to become either a writer, psychologist, or a special education teacher. I hope to become a wife and a mother as wonderful as mine. I want to travel and discover more about who I am. I want to own at LEAST two dogs and no cats....I'm not much of a cat person. Most importantly I want to "make disciples of all nations" and continue to let God surprise me each day.
When it comes to the saying "diamonds are a girl's best friend" I oppose completely. For me, CHOCOLATE is my best friend!!! I don't care how many diamonds you buy me, if you get me chocolate....haha, I love ya! (got that boys?)
I'm not much of a material girl, I'd rather spend all day in my pine tree writing than going shopping, but I don't mind shopping every once in a's a girl's natural instinct, right?:)
A perfect friend for me is someone who gets me completely, who I am 100% comfortable with and who makes me the best person I can be. It's someone who we never run out of things to talk about, but when we are quiet, it's not awkward. She or he is always faithful and always kind, but not perfect, someone who loves me for who I am inside the most, but makes me feel beautiful.
I am not a perfect girl. I am not always nice. I am not always fun to be around. I am not the best friend that ever lived. I am perfectly imperfect. I do not always respect myself. I do not always respect others. But I've got something inside of me that's more powerful than anything else. Something that made the heavens and the stars, and someone that died on the cross to save us all from our sinful nature. And even though I am not perfect, I know that God loves me, and even though people may desert me, and life might not go my way, God's love for me will never change.

If you have any more questions to ask me, feel free!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Story Behind the Name

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the
Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9

I know the name of my blog might sound depressing, but there is a story behind it. First, and foremost, I did try to write a book called, "A No One's World" but that didn't quite work out for me. Nevertheless; here's a little clip from the book:
I've always thought I'm a no one....
I've always asked myself: Why did God even bother to create me? I've always thought maybe I need to be someone, but if God made me no one??.... I've always believed that Jesus died for me and saved me from my sins, but who would do that for me? I know I'll never comprehend His love, but I wish I could know just one thing. Just one. Who am I? I've come down to a conclusion. Science may tell me I'm a Homo Sapian, and evolution can tell me I'm an ape. Faith can tell me I'm a sinner, and faith can tell me about love, and love will tell me about Jesus. And Jesus told me about life. And now I can live it for Him.

Even though the book didn't work out, I am very excited to start this blog. So, obviously, my blog was named for the identity that God has given us. I don't know yet exactly what God's plans for my life are, but I am fully prepared to accept whatever they are. Sometimes I feel like I am living in a no one's world, that people don't understand me, and that I am alone. But when I take a minute to step back and look at my life as a whole, I see that God made me someone. And that someone deserves more than what she's been treating herself to be. So, join me if you will on my journey through A No One's World...:)!
Buckle up!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I guess it's sort of hard to get started on a blog. I wish I knew exactly what to say. Instead of going on and on about some important topic, I am going to start this blog by not saying anything! Welcome to A No One's World!


Unlike most people, I don't think before I write, so watch out, this could get quite interesting! Thinking is one of the weirdest things I've ever thought about...I mean, think about it! How much time and dedication it takes to think for a couple of minutes. First, you have to cut out all of your surroundings and completely submit yourself to your brain. Next, you have to compose the thoughts, and process them. And finally, you have to get them to do whatever you need them to do, like, yell at your brother, which for most people comes without having to think, or solving a math problem, or eating a cookie after deciding whether this one was your fifth or your sixth. See, thinking takes much time and effort to do. But we usually don't think about this matter of thought. We also seem to have special places where we think the most or the deepest. Mine seems to be the shower. In the shower I am always caught off guard thinking about something distant, then, trying to pull myself back to the present, while also trying to save myself from drowning, I forget what had made me think about that. Maybe it's just the mixture of hot water and soap that triggers my brain cells, but the shower is where I think the most.
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