Ah! I haven't been on my blog in what feels like AGES:(.
So sorry! Life just got away from me. Oh, gee, speaking of just that, the other day I just thought to myself, where has my life gone?
I'm stinking gonna be in middle school next year! I honestly cannot believe time goes this fast. Before I can even stop to protest, my life will be zooming down teh road to college, then marriage, and motherhood. Sometimes I have to take a moment to just look at myself, at my life, and remind myself that this is MY life, this is REAL.
One of my biggest questions is: What splits the boudary between what I NEED to know, what I WANT to know, and what I truly understand?
WHAT I NEED TO KNOW:
I need to know how to go to sleep without my blankie. I need to know how to run the house when mom is gone. I need to know how to stand up for myself and say no. I need to know how to handle criticism and bullying. I need to know how to fend for myself. How to operate a credit card, what's the difference between credit and debit?
I need to know how to drive a car, how to make decisions, how to save money. I need to know how to work hard and never give up. I need to know how to give my best, but never everything I live for. I need to know how to say, "Sorry, I called the wrong number." instead of just hanging up.
I need to know how to make enough time, know when to leave, and when to arrive. How to use passwords, how to work a key, how to say sorry when I really don't want to. I need to know how to speak, to a person who just lost someone very close, and how to handle the pain, when I loose the person I love the most.
What do I need to know?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
סוף
How will it end?
Will it end in fire, in a big explosion, a giant mushroom cloud?
Will it end with a bang, a boom, a flash of light?
Will it end with yet another fight?
How will it end?
Will it end with a shout, a triumphant cry, when it ends, will we ALL die?
Will it end like it begun, every nation peaceful, every battle done?
Will it end with all of earth asunder, every particle split apart?
How will it end?
In my heart of hearts, I know it will only end when God has finished His plan.
When Jesus comes again.
Will it end in fire, in a big explosion, a giant mushroom cloud?
Will it end with a bang, a boom, a flash of light?
Will it end with yet another fight?
How will it end?
Will it end with a shout, a triumphant cry, when it ends, will we ALL die?
Will it end like it begun, every nation peaceful, every battle done?
Will it end with all of earth asunder, every particle split apart?
How will it end?
In my heart of hearts, I know it will only end when God has finished His plan.
When Jesus comes again.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Face of the Earth
When someone falls off of the face of this earth....
Another person is hurting. A congregation sings. A funeral is held. All dressed in black.
When someone slips into heaven, the land beyond our world....
A daughter is broken. A wife is devastated. A girl is touched.
When a very special person gets taken by the hand of death....
Another person wonders. A soul is grateful for the life that they lived, for the words and wisdom that they always were willing to give.
When an amazing Christian passes away....
I wish I could have known him better. I wish I could have said so much more. I've never been so touched by a human before.
May the light of God shine on all of those who have lost a loved one.
Just remember that they're in a much better place, looking at Jesus. Face to face.
Another person is hurting. A congregation sings. A funeral is held. All dressed in black.
When someone slips into heaven, the land beyond our world....
A daughter is broken. A wife is devastated. A girl is touched.
When a very special person gets taken by the hand of death....
Another person wonders. A soul is grateful for the life that they lived, for the words and wisdom that they always were willing to give.
When an amazing Christian passes away....
I wish I could have known him better. I wish I could have said so much more. I've never been so touched by a human before.
May the light of God shine on all of those who have lost a loved one.
Just remember that they're in a much better place, looking at Jesus. Face to face.
Monday, April 26, 2010
FAQ
Who am I? Where am I going? Does this look OK?
How are you? Where are you from? Is there a God?
How much longer? Where did you get THAT?! Really?
How do I do this? Are you OK? What is wrong with you?
Are you hurt? Am I doing it right? How did you do that?
Why can't I? Huh? Me? When?
What time? Where? What's your name?
Why?
How are you? Where are you from? Is there a God?
How much longer? Where did you get THAT?! Really?
How do I do this? Are you OK? What is wrong with you?
Are you hurt? Am I doing it right? How did you do that?
Why can't I? Huh? Me? When?
What time? Where? What's your name?
Why?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
For Him
Ring ring ring. No answer. Ring ring. I guess I'll wait one more ring, I thought to myself. Ring. Nata.
"Do you think I should just go up there?" I called to my mother, "Or wait?"
"Um, you can go up if you want to, if it's a good time for them." came her reply.
"Kay, I'll go!" I slipped on a pair of shoes, swung open the door, flew down the steps, and into the fresh spring air until I could tell myself otherwise.
Though I was scared, my legs a bit shaky, I prayed to the Lord that He would give me strength to do what I knew I needed to do. So many times I had shoved it aside, excuses swirling in my mind, "I'm too busy. Maybe tomorrow. I have too much homework." There was no excuse to avoid this anymore.
I looked down at the pebble-filled driveway, remembering so many games of tag and laughter and fun. What hung here now was silence, and the faint trace of remembrance, hanging by a single thread. A little slower, as if my legs had been weighed down, I climbed the three small steps and wrung the door bell.
After waiting about a minute, and debating whether to stay or leave, someone opened the door, beckoned me in, and had me wait until he was off the phone. Blind to what I was going to see, I walked into the carpeted room, where a hospital bed seemed so out of place in the beautiful sun-lit place.
A monitor flashed green and red, an IV plugged into his fading white skin. Drowsy from the pain medication, mostly from the pain itself, waiting, eagerly longing for eternal life. All the words I thought I was going to say slipped out of my mind and vanished right before my very eyes.
Words stuck in my throat, I felt like a kindergartner, trying to form the right kind of words to say after I fell and scraped my knee. I could have said thank you. Thank you for all of your words, thank you for all of your insight, your wisdom, your faith. Thank you for changing my life.
Instead, tiny tears swam around in my eyes, and all I could say was, "I'm praying for you." In reply he told my that he loved me and that I should just continue to honor God and that he was glad I was in his life. As one final word he said, unafraid and heartfelt, "Goodbye."
As his wife apologized that he couldn't talk more and walked me downstairs, she handed me a homemade cookie. A cookie. In all of her distress, she gave me a cookie. I walked home, happy and sad, threw away the cookie, for it was too much to eat.
Then I cried. I cried for all the words he'd said to me. I cried for all the cancer patients who had nothing to hold onto. I cried for all of the world, that it would know Jesus. I cried for him.
"Do you think I should just go up there?" I called to my mother, "Or wait?"
"Um, you can go up if you want to, if it's a good time for them." came her reply.
"Kay, I'll go!" I slipped on a pair of shoes, swung open the door, flew down the steps, and into the fresh spring air until I could tell myself otherwise.
Though I was scared, my legs a bit shaky, I prayed to the Lord that He would give me strength to do what I knew I needed to do. So many times I had shoved it aside, excuses swirling in my mind, "I'm too busy. Maybe tomorrow. I have too much homework." There was no excuse to avoid this anymore.
I looked down at the pebble-filled driveway, remembering so many games of tag and laughter and fun. What hung here now was silence, and the faint trace of remembrance, hanging by a single thread. A little slower, as if my legs had been weighed down, I climbed the three small steps and wrung the door bell.
After waiting about a minute, and debating whether to stay or leave, someone opened the door, beckoned me in, and had me wait until he was off the phone. Blind to what I was going to see, I walked into the carpeted room, where a hospital bed seemed so out of place in the beautiful sun-lit place.
A monitor flashed green and red, an IV plugged into his fading white skin. Drowsy from the pain medication, mostly from the pain itself, waiting, eagerly longing for eternal life. All the words I thought I was going to say slipped out of my mind and vanished right before my very eyes.
Words stuck in my throat, I felt like a kindergartner, trying to form the right kind of words to say after I fell and scraped my knee. I could have said thank you. Thank you for all of your words, thank you for all of your insight, your wisdom, your faith. Thank you for changing my life.
Instead, tiny tears swam around in my eyes, and all I could say was, "I'm praying for you." In reply he told my that he loved me and that I should just continue to honor God and that he was glad I was in his life. As one final word he said, unafraid and heartfelt, "Goodbye."
As his wife apologized that he couldn't talk more and walked me downstairs, she handed me a homemade cookie. A cookie. In all of her distress, she gave me a cookie. I walked home, happy and sad, threw away the cookie, for it was too much to eat.
Then I cried. I cried for all the words he'd said to me. I cried for all the cancer patients who had nothing to hold onto. I cried for all of the world, that it would know Jesus. I cried for him.
Monday, April 19, 2010
The Joy of Photography
Oh, I just love taking pictures! The freedom of taking them is so amazing. You can take one of nothing, and it will be sure to turn out as something. You can mess up, mess up, mess up, and then get it right. You can pull out a camera at any given moment and snap a few photos. There is no test, there is no knowledge level you must have to be good at photography. Just a camera and an idea:).
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